OK internets. I know you're all prolly pissed. I apologize for not updating sooner, but the truth is that I had this great post in the works about my very first trip to Whole Foods, and how AF finally came, and how Dr. JustRelax gave me clomid for my birthday. But blogger lost it.
So, don't be mad at me. Be mad at blogger.
Anyway, so yeah. Dr. JustRelax stepped up his game. I called him on Tuesday to let him know that I was finally bleeding and he wrote me a prescription for clomid.
Crazy shit huh?
So, here I am...sitting on my new comfy couch, staring at the little pill sitting in front of me.
The plan is to do chart and use OPK's this cycle. But, I was supposed to start temping already, and so far that has been a HUGE FAIL.
I will start tomorrow. (probably not, I suck.)
But I will NOT be using the devil CBEFM.
Wish me luck, internets.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Flow Watch 2010
I hearby declare Flow Watch 2010 commence!
I don't think I have been this anxious to get a period since I had that little scare in highschool.
:shudders:
After consulting with some of the wisest women I know (BOTB 4EVER), I am leaning towards letting my period come naturally.
Don't get it twisted people, I am all for drugs in the right situation. (does anyone else not feel right even saying the phrase "the situation" anymore?)
Anyway, I don't think this is one of those situations.
Also, I am worried about the fact that Dr. JustRelax didn't mention anything about monitoring me on clomid, and that he hasn't done any testing.
So, friends, I think my days with Dr. JustRelax are numbered.
I can say with certainty that I will be charting again next cycle.
YUUUUCCCKKK
I HATE charting. I LOATHE it. Almost as much as I hate TTC.
Alas, it is the only way to know if I am ovulating for sure. AND bonus! I can stop using the devil CBEFM.
Readers, you are in for a treat.
I forsee a lot of bitching about charting in the near future. That is if my stubborn uterus ever decides to bleed.
I don't think I have been this anxious to get a period since I had that little scare in highschool.
:shudders:
After consulting with some of the wisest women I know (BOTB 4EVER), I am leaning towards letting my period come naturally.
Don't get it twisted people, I am all for drugs in the right situation. (does anyone else not feel right even saying the phrase "the situation" anymore?)
Anyway, I don't think this is one of those situations.
Also, I am worried about the fact that Dr. JustRelax didn't mention anything about monitoring me on clomid, and that he hasn't done any testing.
So, friends, I think my days with Dr. JustRelax are numbered.
I can say with certainty that I will be charting again next cycle.
YUUUUCCCKKK
I HATE charting. I LOATHE it. Almost as much as I hate TTC.
Alas, it is the only way to know if I am ovulating for sure. AND bonus! I can stop using the devil CBEFM.
Readers, you are in for a treat.
I forsee a lot of bitching about charting in the near future. That is if my stubborn uterus ever decides to bleed.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I guess it is high time I update you, blog readers.
I am a week or so late for my period.
Don't get too excited. For, this is not good news. I am NOT PREGNANT.
I know this because my doc ordered a blood test on Monday morning, and it came back negative.
I am sure, right about now, you are all asking yourself the very question that has been dancing around in my pretty head for the past few days...
Why am I late?
The answer is unknown.
Did I ovulate?
Also unknown.
Why, you ask?
Because I stopped using the devil CBEFM on CD 20 when I did not see a peak fertility reading. Because I took the advice of my doc. (who will be called Dr. JustRelax from here forward)
You see, I called Dr. JustRelax last month when my period came. I was a hot crying mess of a patient. And Dr. JustRelax told me to...you guessed it. Relax, get a bottle of wine, light some candles, and see how that worked.
And, me, being the asshole I am, I listened.
And do you know what?
I have no fucking clue what happened this cycle. Which is clearly a problem, since today is CD 37.
Allow me to share with you, internet, how this convo went down yesterday.
ps. yesterday was also Baby Rootbeer's EDD.
pps. I had a long post written about it, but deleted it. Because it was a ranting raving mess and you all wouldn't have wanted to read it anyway. TRUST.
OK, I digress.
So here it is, and I am warning you now, that I will spare no details.
Monday Morning...
Mrs. R: Oh Hi! I am a pateint of Dr. JustRelax's and I am calling because I am a week late for my monthly gift *insert eyeroll here* and I am not sure what's going on.
Lori (AKA the nicest receptionist ever): Oh hi Mrs. Rootbeer, let me just pull your chart.
Silence
Lori: OK well Dr. JustRelax isn't here today because Dr's don't come back to work the Monday after New Year's like the rest of the world. (OK maybe she really didn't say the last part, but I know that's what she meant. ) but I am going to have you go down to have blood drawn. Due to your history, it is important to know if you are in fact pregnant.
Mrs. R: Ok, I will go now then.
And off I went. Straight to the lab, where I proceeded to wait in the waiting room amongst 14 coughing old people. (I am not exaggerating)
After about 45 minutes of covering my mouth and nose for fear of swine, I was in the chair getting the blood drawn.
Tuesday Morning...
:phone rings:
Mrs. R: Hello?????
Lori: Hi Mrs. R it's Lori. I am calling to let you know your bloodwork came back negative.
Mrs. R: Thank you for calling. (and ruining my already horrible, most dreaded day of the year) So Lori, what should I do about the fact that I am still not bleeding?
Lori: Well, I will have to have Dr. JustRelax call you.
An hour later...
:phone rings:
Mrs. R: Holla
Dr. JustRelax: Hey Mrs. R , it's Dr. JustRelax.
Mrs. R: Oh hey, so I guess you got the results of my bloodwork?
Dr. JustRelax: Yes, yes I did. And how late are you?
Mrs R: about a week now
Dr. JustRelax: and that is unusual for you right?
Mrs. R: yes
Dr. JustRelax: OK well what do you want to do?
***at this moment my mind started reeling....what do I want to do? Is this man really asking me this? Should I tell him that I have seriously contemplated hiring elves to steal Mr. Rootbeer's semen in the middle of the night so that I can squirt it up my vadge with a turkey baster? Or that I have had suspicions about whether I have been ovulating for a few months now***
Mrs. R: Well, what are my options? (this was a better answer, no?)
Dr. JR: Well, you can relax and see if your period comes on its own or I can give you a pill to make it come.
*THIS IS WHERE PURE MAGIC HAPPENED PEOPLE. Something inside me snapped. I am sick of everybody's advice, including Dr. JustRelax. I am sick of floundering through TTC, I am sick of TTC period.*
Mrs. R: Here's what we are going to do. Let's wait a week and see if my period comes on its own, and I will call you next Tuesday if it does not.
Dr. JR: That seems reasonable.
Mrs. R: ok well now that we have that squared away, I am not sure I ovulated this cycle, and I have had suspicions about this for a while now...
Dr. JR: Well, don't you use that monitor?
Mrs. R: YOU TOLD ME TO JUST RELAX!
Dr. JR: ok well if you are not ovulating, I can make you ovulate.
Mrs. R: :chuckle: Oh really? How?
Dr. JR: with a pill called Clomid. I'm sure you've already read all about it? (translation: I know you are one of those annoying chicks who researches everything on the internet)
Mrs. R: Actually, Dr JustRelax, I don't know very much about Clomid. (translation: hahahahaha you're wrong because I haven't even read about clomid and now I am going to run over to the nearest computer and read all the info available and by the next time we talk I will be an expert on clomid but I haven't yet so youre wrong hahahaha)
Dr. JR: well, clomid is a mild fertility treatment, and it does have a few side effects, but the most promiment one is that it doubles your risk of having twins.
Mrs. R: Well, beggars can't be choosers, right?
Dr. JR: Let's get you a period and then you can come in and we can discuss the options you have.
:end scene:
So, there you have it folks, it looks like my blog will be taking a turn in a different direction in 2010.
Infertility.
Thoughts?
I am a week or so late for my period.
Don't get too excited. For, this is not good news. I am NOT PREGNANT.
I know this because my doc ordered a blood test on Monday morning, and it came back negative.
I am sure, right about now, you are all asking yourself the very question that has been dancing around in my pretty head for the past few days...
Why am I late?
The answer is unknown.
Did I ovulate?
Also unknown.
Why, you ask?
Because I stopped using the devil CBEFM on CD 20 when I did not see a peak fertility reading. Because I took the advice of my doc. (who will be called Dr. JustRelax from here forward)
You see, I called Dr. JustRelax last month when my period came. I was a hot crying mess of a patient. And Dr. JustRelax told me to...you guessed it. Relax, get a bottle of wine, light some candles, and see how that worked.
And, me, being the asshole I am, I listened.
And do you know what?
I have no fucking clue what happened this cycle. Which is clearly a problem, since today is CD 37.
Allow me to share with you, internet, how this convo went down yesterday.
ps. yesterday was also Baby Rootbeer's EDD.
pps. I had a long post written about it, but deleted it. Because it was a ranting raving mess and you all wouldn't have wanted to read it anyway. TRUST.
OK, I digress.
So here it is, and I am warning you now, that I will spare no details.
Monday Morning...
Mrs. R: Oh Hi! I am a pateint of Dr. JustRelax's and I am calling because I am a week late for my monthly gift *insert eyeroll here* and I am not sure what's going on.
Lori (AKA the nicest receptionist ever): Oh hi Mrs. Rootbeer, let me just pull your chart.
Silence
Lori: OK well Dr. JustRelax isn't here today because Dr's don't come back to work the Monday after New Year's like the rest of the world. (OK maybe she really didn't say the last part, but I know that's what she meant. ) but I am going to have you go down to have blood drawn. Due to your history, it is important to know if you are in fact pregnant.
Mrs. R: Ok, I will go now then.
And off I went. Straight to the lab, where I proceeded to wait in the waiting room amongst 14 coughing old people. (I am not exaggerating)
After about 45 minutes of covering my mouth and nose for fear of swine, I was in the chair getting the blood drawn.
Tuesday Morning...
:phone rings:
Mrs. R: Hello?????
Lori: Hi Mrs. R it's Lori. I am calling to let you know your bloodwork came back negative.
Mrs. R: Thank you for calling. (and ruining my already horrible, most dreaded day of the year) So Lori, what should I do about the fact that I am still not bleeding?
Lori: Well, I will have to have Dr. JustRelax call you.
An hour later...
:phone rings:
Mrs. R: Holla
Dr. JustRelax: Hey Mrs. R , it's Dr. JustRelax.
Mrs. R: Oh hey, so I guess you got the results of my bloodwork?
Dr. JustRelax: Yes, yes I did. And how late are you?
Mrs R: about a week now
Dr. JustRelax: and that is unusual for you right?
Mrs. R: yes
Dr. JustRelax: OK well what do you want to do?
***at this moment my mind started reeling....what do I want to do? Is this man really asking me this? Should I tell him that I have seriously contemplated hiring elves to steal Mr. Rootbeer's semen in the middle of the night so that I can squirt it up my vadge with a turkey baster? Or that I have had suspicions about whether I have been ovulating for a few months now***
Mrs. R: Well, what are my options? (this was a better answer, no?)
Dr. JR: Well, you can relax and see if your period comes on its own or I can give you a pill to make it come.
*THIS IS WHERE PURE MAGIC HAPPENED PEOPLE. Something inside me snapped. I am sick of everybody's advice, including Dr. JustRelax. I am sick of floundering through TTC, I am sick of TTC period.*
Mrs. R: Here's what we are going to do. Let's wait a week and see if my period comes on its own, and I will call you next Tuesday if it does not.
Dr. JR: That seems reasonable.
Mrs. R: ok well now that we have that squared away, I am not sure I ovulated this cycle, and I have had suspicions about this for a while now...
Dr. JR: Well, don't you use that monitor?
Mrs. R: YOU TOLD ME TO JUST RELAX!
Dr. JR: ok well if you are not ovulating, I can make you ovulate.
Mrs. R: :chuckle: Oh really? How?
Dr. JR: with a pill called Clomid. I'm sure you've already read all about it? (translation: I know you are one of those annoying chicks who researches everything on the internet)
Mrs. R: Actually, Dr JustRelax, I don't know very much about Clomid. (translation: hahahahaha you're wrong because I haven't even read about clomid and now I am going to run over to the nearest computer and read all the info available and by the next time we talk I will be an expert on clomid but I haven't yet so youre wrong hahahaha)
Dr. JR: well, clomid is a mild fertility treatment, and it does have a few side effects, but the most promiment one is that it doubles your risk of having twins.
Mrs. R: Well, beggars can't be choosers, right?
Dr. JR: Let's get you a period and then you can come in and we can discuss the options you have.
:end scene:
So, there you have it folks, it looks like my blog will be taking a turn in a different direction in 2010.
Infertility.
Thoughts?
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Saving Christmas
My great grandmother died when I was five. She was a cool lady. She used to make all kinds of stuff. She knit baby blankets, hats, and mittens. She also was known to make a lot of things in ceramics class at the senior center.
She had 5 daughters. Those 5 daughters went on to have a total of 17 children of their own. And those 17 children went on to have a shit ton more. I have a ton of cousins. So you see, there are a large number of people between me and Grammy.
So, when she passed away I didn't get anything of hers.
I have a blanket she made for me when I was born, and a mug she made for me when I was a little girl. But I don't have anything of hers.
The coolest thing Grammy used to make was nativity sets. She handpainted a set for each of her 5 daughters. She also glazed a set for my mom right before her death. My mother's nativity set has been a cherished memory of mine all of my life. It is just so special.
Every year my brother and I would trade off on who got to set up the manger. We would run to put baby Jesus in his "spot" every Christmas morning. It is one of my fondest childhood memories of Christmas.
Since moving out and making a home of my own, I have longed for my own nativity set. I have literally looked at hundreds. And none of them ever fit the bill.
They just didn't seem special.
In fact, last year one of my aunts bought me a few peices of the Precious Moments nativity scene. And as I set them on my table this year I thought, these are cute but they just aren't Grammy's.
Apparently, in 1981 Grammy made herself a nativity set. She handpainted each figurine and my Great Grandfather built a manger for the set. And when she passed away in 1990, my Great Aunt Lee inherited the set.
Fast forward to Christmas Eve 2009.
After dinner, my grandmother instructed Mr. Rootbeer to follow her out to her car because she had something for me in the trunk. They returned with a large box. My grandmother explained that Aunt Lee asked her to give this to me this Christmas. I opened the box and inside was the most wonderful Christmas gift I have ever received.
Grammy's nativity.
Complete with the manger that Grampy has made.
I cannot put into words the joy I felt setting up the nativity on Christmas morning. I am certain I will treasure this gift for the rest of my life. And I can only hope that my children, that I WILL have, will treasure this Christmas tradition as much as I have.
So, thank you Aunt Lee. Thank you for saving Christmas.
She had 5 daughters. Those 5 daughters went on to have a total of 17 children of their own. And those 17 children went on to have a shit ton more. I have a ton of cousins. So you see, there are a large number of people between me and Grammy.
So, when she passed away I didn't get anything of hers.
I have a blanket she made for me when I was born, and a mug she made for me when I was a little girl. But I don't have anything of hers.
The coolest thing Grammy used to make was nativity sets. She handpainted a set for each of her 5 daughters. She also glazed a set for my mom right before her death. My mother's nativity set has been a cherished memory of mine all of my life. It is just so special.
Every year my brother and I would trade off on who got to set up the manger. We would run to put baby Jesus in his "spot" every Christmas morning. It is one of my fondest childhood memories of Christmas.
Since moving out and making a home of my own, I have longed for my own nativity set. I have literally looked at hundreds. And none of them ever fit the bill.
They just didn't seem special.
In fact, last year one of my aunts bought me a few peices of the Precious Moments nativity scene. And as I set them on my table this year I thought, these are cute but they just aren't Grammy's.
Apparently, in 1981 Grammy made herself a nativity set. She handpainted each figurine and my Great Grandfather built a manger for the set. And when she passed away in 1990, my Great Aunt Lee inherited the set.
Fast forward to Christmas Eve 2009.
After dinner, my grandmother instructed Mr. Rootbeer to follow her out to her car because she had something for me in the trunk. They returned with a large box. My grandmother explained that Aunt Lee asked her to give this to me this Christmas. I opened the box and inside was the most wonderful Christmas gift I have ever received.
Grammy's nativity.
Complete with the manger that Grampy has made.
I cannot put into words the joy I felt setting up the nativity on Christmas morning. I am certain I will treasure this gift for the rest of my life. And I can only hope that my children, that I WILL have, will treasure this Christmas tradition as much as I have.
So, thank you Aunt Lee. Thank you for saving Christmas.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Bah Humbug
I would first like to say that I am a Christmas whore.
I loooooove Christmas.
I am one of those people that starts listening to the ever-corny Christmas music the very day after Thanksgiving. I will even admit that my obsession with this overly commercial holiday goes as far as I start planning how I will decorate our house as early as Halloween.
Because shortly after Christmas comes New Years, and who doesn't love New Year's Eve?
And right after New Year's Eve comes my birthday. Which is obviously the highlight of my year.
I usually spend the week leading up to Christmas singing songs, wearing red and green, cheerfully wrapping gifts and baking yummy treats. And I love to shop, so Christmas shopping has never been an annoyance. I gladly brave the packed parking lots and long lines because I truly love to buy gifts for my loved ones.
This year just feels so different. Don't get me wrong here, I am still enjoying seeing family and giving the gifts I have purchased. Except everything else was such a pain in the ass this year.
My heart just isn't in it. And I can't help but wonder if that pesky date conviently sandwiched between New Year's and my birthday is to blame...
Jan 5th.
Fuck that day. I have been dreading it for almost 9 months now. And here it is, just in time to ruin the holidays.
Christmas cards make me wanna barf, yet I sent them anyway. Complete with a picture of my two dogs, because face it people I have no kids.
Shopping this year ranked slightly above sticking a fork into my eyeball.
Work Secret Santa...I got the poor chick a bottle of vodka and a redbull.
I kid you not.
And I will share my thought process on picking this gift out. I said to myself, "Self, what would you want from the work secret santa?"
Bottle of vodka was the first thing that came to mind.
Christmas cookies...I made them but only because stuffing my face is a priority these days. I am working to ensure that none of the clothes I get for Christmas fit.
And don't even get me started on wrapping all those fucking gifts. OMG pain in the ass.
So, faithful blog readers, I am officially over Christmas.
The only positive thing I can come up with is that it is in fact a indication that this suck ass year is almost over.
*************************************************************************************
also I hate that CBEFM.
I don't even think I ovulated this cycle. Which is just fan-fucking-tastic.
I am right on schedule to get my period on Jan 1st.
Whiskey.Tango.Foxtrot?
FML
I loooooove Christmas.
I am one of those people that starts listening to the ever-corny Christmas music the very day after Thanksgiving. I will even admit that my obsession with this overly commercial holiday goes as far as I start planning how I will decorate our house as early as Halloween.
Because shortly after Christmas comes New Years, and who doesn't love New Year's Eve?
And right after New Year's Eve comes my birthday. Which is obviously the highlight of my year.
I usually spend the week leading up to Christmas singing songs, wearing red and green, cheerfully wrapping gifts and baking yummy treats. And I love to shop, so Christmas shopping has never been an annoyance. I gladly brave the packed parking lots and long lines because I truly love to buy gifts for my loved ones.
This year just feels so different. Don't get me wrong here, I am still enjoying seeing family and giving the gifts I have purchased. Except everything else was such a pain in the ass this year.
My heart just isn't in it. And I can't help but wonder if that pesky date conviently sandwiched between New Year's and my birthday is to blame...
Jan 5th.
Fuck that day. I have been dreading it for almost 9 months now. And here it is, just in time to ruin the holidays.
Christmas cards make me wanna barf, yet I sent them anyway. Complete with a picture of my two dogs, because face it people I have no kids.
Shopping this year ranked slightly above sticking a fork into my eyeball.
Work Secret Santa...I got the poor chick a bottle of vodka and a redbull.
I kid you not.
And I will share my thought process on picking this gift out. I said to myself, "Self, what would you want from the work secret santa?"
Bottle of vodka was the first thing that came to mind.
Christmas cookies...I made them but only because stuffing my face is a priority these days. I am working to ensure that none of the clothes I get for Christmas fit.
And don't even get me started on wrapping all those fucking gifts. OMG pain in the ass.
So, faithful blog readers, I am officially over Christmas.
The only positive thing I can come up with is that it is in fact a indication that this suck ass year is almost over.
*************************************************************************************
also I hate that CBEFM.
I don't even think I ovulated this cycle. Which is just fan-fucking-tastic.
I am right on schedule to get my period on Jan 1st.
Whiskey.Tango.Foxtrot?
FML
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Still here
I'm still here in the 2ww. I am debating on whether to test on Thanksgiving.
My original plan was to wait until the CBEFM tells me I am late, and then I would test.
I don't like that plan anymore.
I am impatient.
I want to test on Thursday. I have good vibes about this cycle for some strange reason. I will be approx. 9-10 DPO on Thursday.
WWYD?
My original plan was to wait until the CBEFM tells me I am late, and then I would test.
I don't like that plan anymore.
I am impatient.
I want to test on Thursday. I have good vibes about this cycle for some strange reason. I will be approx. 9-10 DPO on Thursday.
WWYD?
Friday, November 20, 2009
And so it begins...
the dreaded 2ww.
That's right folks, I peed on my nifty little stick today and stuck it in the CBEFM and ta da! My fertile phase is over.
I really loathe this part of my cycle. I have come to realize that almost every symptom of pregnancy, short of two lines of course, and every symptom of AF are pretty much the same. The exhaustion, the pimples, the headaches, and just plain feeling like shit.
I put zero stock in symptoms. Which, for me is a healthy development. I refuse to even entertain the idea that I could be pregnant until I see those two little magic lines.
But, you see, that's the part of this that makes the 2ww the little whore she is. She uses her alluring trickery to fool you into thinking you have a chance.
But in reality, I do have a chance. A pretty good one. And thanks to the CBEFM, Mr. Rootbeer and I have had sex every night for the past 10 days. So, I'm thinkin our chances are pretty good. We will see.
That's right folks, I peed on my nifty little stick today and stuck it in the CBEFM and ta da! My fertile phase is over.
I really loathe this part of my cycle. I have come to realize that almost every symptom of pregnancy, short of two lines of course, and every symptom of AF are pretty much the same. The exhaustion, the pimples, the headaches, and just plain feeling like shit.
I put zero stock in symptoms. Which, for me is a healthy development. I refuse to even entertain the idea that I could be pregnant until I see those two little magic lines.
But, you see, that's the part of this that makes the 2ww the little whore she is. She uses her alluring trickery to fool you into thinking you have a chance.
But in reality, I do have a chance. A pretty good one. And thanks to the CBEFM, Mr. Rootbeer and I have had sex every night for the past 10 days. So, I'm thinkin our chances are pretty good. We will see.
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