Friday, October 1, 2010

An Uphill Battle

Lately I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle. One that I've been fighting for almost two years now.

I went to see Dr. JustRelax for my 20 week ultrasound and appointment yesterday, and as luck would have it, I happened to be in the same office I was in when they discovered Baby Rootbeer had no heartbeat, and in the exact same room. Being that it was the first time I have been back to that office since, I felt anxious as soon as I walked into the room. And Mr. Rootbeer couldn't be with me due to some work scheduling conflicts.

As I waited for the ultrasound tech to come in I tried to relax, I really did.

I told myself that this baby is different. And she is.

We have made it so far together.

As the tech started the ultrasound and I saw my little girl quietly sucking her thumb on the screen in front of me, I started to relax and breathe again. I could easily see her heart was just beating away, which is still the most beautiful sight everytime I see it.

Within a few minutes, the ultrasound tech noticed that the placenta is slightly covering my cervix. Which she explained to be placenta previa. She explained that this could mean I will have a c-section if the placenta doesn't migrate upwards and away from my cervix.

She looked back at the ultrasound pictures from last week and said they probably didn't see it because my bladder wasn't emptied. And she also said this is most likely the source of the bleeding I have been experiencing. (I have bled twice since my appointment last week)

She went on to check out Baby Root, who is doing fabulous. She is growing strong and measuring a few days ahead. Her heart is perfect, her brain looks great, kidneys, spine, face, everything looked just fantastic.

So then it was time to see Dr. JustRelax.

He put me on pelvic rest and added a few more restrictions. Basically, no sex, no exercise, no laundry, no vacuuming, no lifting anything remotely heavy, no standing for extended periods of time. He also encouraged me to stay away from googling the term placenta previa and said it would scare me. ( I didn't exactly listen to the last part)

I was really uspet yesterday. I am hopeful that everything will turn out fine and the placenta will move as my uterus grows. But I feel like nothing has been easy for me in trying to have a family.

So I gave myself the rest of the day yesterday to walk around all mopey, feeling sorry for myself and hate on my body.

And now I am moving on.

Baby Root is healthy and strong and that is what I am focusing on.