I am pregnant. Knocked the fuck up. Bun in the oven. Holy shit.
Last night Mr. Rootbeer and I went out for a wonderful hibachi dinner. It was delicious! I was a day late for my period. I had planned on testing today but I couldn't wait anymore, I have been soooo patient. And my chart has been looking beauteous! So after consulting my trusty TTC sidekick Bubbalini, I decided to hold my pee for a few hours and see what happened.
After dinner I had some spotting, my heart sank. I thought to myself "its over". But I was wrong. I peed on the stick and I saw a faint line!!! I couldn't believe my eyes. I ran into the living room where Mr. Rootbeer was watching the Yankees game, shoved it in his face and said "What do you see?" He said he saw a line, and then he asked why it was so light. He looked so happy but apprehensive at the same time. I sent pictures to Bubbalini to see what she thought and she said she thought she might be able to see them. I decided I would test again today with FMU.
I had a really hard time falling asleep. I kept telling myself that if for some reason AF shows her ugly face that I will not be upset, a little disappointed but not upset. We gave it everything we had this cycle. We used the preseed, I was so dilligent about testing, our timing was perfect, and I was very well behaved during the 2ww, minus the scorpion bowl I drank by myself the night we concieved.
So, I woke up at 5 am this morning ran into the bathroom and peed into a cup, dipped the stick in, and waited....
Suddenly, a beautiful little plus sign appeared before me! I ran back into the bedroom, knocking the cup full of pee all over the floor, and jumped onto the bed. We laid there and just smiled for about a half hour. And I haven't stopped smiling yet.
The only symptom I think I can claim as of now is total exhaustion. I cannot wait to get out of work today and nap...
Monday, April 27, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I hate the 2ww
That's what we in "the biz" call the two week wait. The biz of trying to concieve that is. IT SUCKS. It is two torturous weeks of hell. Analyzing every symptom, questioning every little "feeling". I'm absolutely positive that it drives Mr. Rootbeer crazy. He probably thinks I'm psychotic. Maybe I am...
This cycle has been worse than the cycles that have gone before. I know it's because my chart is looking so damn pretty this cycle.
My period is due Sunday. I am keeping my fingers crossed until then.
This cycle has been worse than the cycles that have gone before. I know it's because my chart is looking so damn pretty this cycle.
My period is due Sunday. I am keeping my fingers crossed until then.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Rain rain go away...
The weather here has been so depressing lately. Overcast skies coupled with light drizzling most of the day doesn't exactly make you want to run outside. Last night Mr. Rootbeer and I were watching a movie, the dogs were sleeping on my legs, and all the sudden a HUGE crash of thunder crackled outside. The dogs jumped up and started barking for the next 10 minutes. Annoying.
But there is a positive side of this bad weather. It's baby making time and for some reason the dreary weather is synonymous with bed shaking in the Rootbeer household :)
I went to the store to buy deodorant a few nights ago, Mr. Rootbeer said "I think I threw out the tampon box yesterday, it was empty." I guess he was trying to tell me I should buy another box. But I don't want to. I don't want to need tampons, because I don't want to get my period this cycle. I find it ironic that for the last ten years of my life, getting my period was relieving. And now, it is a major disappointment.
Mr. Rootbeer was always the confident, optimistic one. When I would get upset when Aunt Flo showed her ugly face, he would say "don't worry, its only been a few months." But last cycle I saw something different. I saw the doubt in his face when I told him my period had come. It broke my heart. I know all he wants is to be a Dad, and it breaks my heart that I can't just snap my fingers and give that gift to him. So, I had to switch modes, put on my best "it's ok" face, and assure him that I feel really good about this next cycle.
And I do, we are trying a few new things this cycle. We need to try something, its getting stressful and sad, and I never wanted it to be this way. I always wanted it to be such a happy and joyous experience, and I know it will be once I do get pregnant. Mr. Rootbeer says we will appreciate the gift of pregnancy more now, since we had to wait a little for it. I know he is right.
In comparision to others, I know our wait has been a short one. I guess I am just coming to the realization that things did not work out the way I thought they would. But that's ok. That's life, and there is nothing I can do but pray.
But there is a positive side of this bad weather. It's baby making time and for some reason the dreary weather is synonymous with bed shaking in the Rootbeer household :)
I went to the store to buy deodorant a few nights ago, Mr. Rootbeer said "I think I threw out the tampon box yesterday, it was empty." I guess he was trying to tell me I should buy another box. But I don't want to. I don't want to need tampons, because I don't want to get my period this cycle. I find it ironic that for the last ten years of my life, getting my period was relieving. And now, it is a major disappointment.
Mr. Rootbeer was always the confident, optimistic one. When I would get upset when Aunt Flo showed her ugly face, he would say "don't worry, its only been a few months." But last cycle I saw something different. I saw the doubt in his face when I told him my period had come. It broke my heart. I know all he wants is to be a Dad, and it breaks my heart that I can't just snap my fingers and give that gift to him. So, I had to switch modes, put on my best "it's ok" face, and assure him that I feel really good about this next cycle.
And I do, we are trying a few new things this cycle. We need to try something, its getting stressful and sad, and I never wanted it to be this way. I always wanted it to be such a happy and joyous experience, and I know it will be once I do get pregnant. Mr. Rootbeer says we will appreciate the gift of pregnancy more now, since we had to wait a little for it. I know he is right.
In comparision to others, I know our wait has been a short one. I guess I am just coming to the realization that things did not work out the way I thought they would. But that's ok. That's life, and there is nothing I can do but pray.
Monday, April 6, 2009
A Very Productive Weekend
I got the wedding gown dropped off. The thank yous are done. Edits were emailed to the photographer today.
I also managed to squeeze in some tres important bonding time with my mom, as well as some much needed retail therapy at Ann Taylor. I bought the most adorable Easter dress.
Weekend = Success
I also managed to squeeze in some tres important bonding time with my mom, as well as some much needed retail therapy at Ann Taylor. I bought the most adorable Easter dress.
Weekend = Success
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Split Personalities
I am a typical type A personality...most of the time.
Type A individuals can be described as impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about their status, highly competitive, hostile and aggressive, and incapable of relaxation. They are often high achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about the smallest of delays. Because of these characteristics, Type A individuals are often described as "stress junkies" (Wikipedia)
Sometimes I think I suffer from some sort of split personality disorder. When it comes to things that are important, yet not urgent, I just can't seem to get them done in a timely manner. For example, I have been married for roughly 6 months and I still haven't finished writing out the Thank Yous. I know, I know conventional etiquette generously allows up to one year from the date of the wedding. But when people all around you have gotten married since and you have received their thank yous, you start to feel a little rude.
Furthermore, my wedding gown along with my cathedral length, pain-in-the-ass veil are still hanging in my office closet, clad with the dust and dirt they picked up on our wedding night. And, I still have not sent my final edits in regard to our wedding album to the photographer so that I can finally get our album.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME???
Why am I so on task with everything in my life but I can't seem to sew up everything from the wedding? Am I subconsciously holding on to the wedding? Hahaha! That makes me chuckle. I am so relieved that the wedding is finally over and our life has calmed down again. I need to harness my type A, anal retentive, bitch tendencies to fight the evil that is lingering wedding bullshit.
It is my goal to get it all out of my life this weekend. I am vowing to get the dress and veil back to the dress shop to be cleaned and packed up, to get all the thank yous in the mail, and e-mail the final edits and selections to the photographer. It needs to be done!
So much for all the gardening I wanted to do this weekend...
Type A individuals can be described as impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about their status, highly competitive, hostile and aggressive, and incapable of relaxation. They are often high achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about the smallest of delays. Because of these characteristics, Type A individuals are often described as "stress junkies" (Wikipedia)
Sometimes I think I suffer from some sort of split personality disorder. When it comes to things that are important, yet not urgent, I just can't seem to get them done in a timely manner. For example, I have been married for roughly 6 months and I still haven't finished writing out the Thank Yous. I know, I know conventional etiquette generously allows up to one year from the date of the wedding. But when people all around you have gotten married since and you have received their thank yous, you start to feel a little rude.
Furthermore, my wedding gown along with my cathedral length, pain-in-the-ass veil are still hanging in my office closet, clad with the dust and dirt they picked up on our wedding night. And, I still have not sent my final edits in regard to our wedding album to the photographer so that I can finally get our album.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME???
Why am I so on task with everything in my life but I can't seem to sew up everything from the wedding? Am I subconsciously holding on to the wedding? Hahaha! That makes me chuckle. I am so relieved that the wedding is finally over and our life has calmed down again. I need to harness my type A, anal retentive, bitch tendencies to fight the evil that is lingering wedding bullshit.
It is my goal to get it all out of my life this weekend. I am vowing to get the dress and veil back to the dress shop to be cleaned and packed up, to get all the thank yous in the mail, and e-mail the final edits and selections to the photographer. It needs to be done!
So much for all the gardening I wanted to do this weekend...
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Happy Hump Day
I have two jobs, one is my "real" job, the one that makes up 90% of my income and takes up 90% of my time. My real job is full of bosses, employees, coffee breaks, ringing phones, overtime, and just plain old bullshit. The second is my "fun" job, I am a Pampered Chef Independent Consultant, andI cannot wait until the day that I can make my "fun" job full-time. The day that I won't have to worry about all of the things that come along with working a 9-5. When that day comes I will be able to stop celebrating every Wednesday of every week.
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