Rain rain go away...

The weather here has been so depressing lately. Overcast skies coupled with light drizzling most of the day doesn't exactly make you want to run outside. Last night Mr. Rootbeer and I were watching a movie, the dogs were sleeping on my legs, and all the sudden a HUGE crash of thunder crackled outside. The dogs jumped up and started barking for the next 10 minutes. Annoying.

But there is a positive side of this bad weather. It's baby making time and for some reason the dreary weather is synonymous with bed shaking in the Rootbeer household :)

I went to the store to buy deodorant a few nights ago, Mr. Rootbeer said "I think I threw out the tampon box yesterday, it was empty." I guess he was trying to tell me I should buy another box. But I don't want to. I don't want to need tampons, because I don't want to get my period this cycle. I find it ironic that for the last ten years of my life, getting my period was relieving. And now, it is a major disappointment.

Mr. Rootbeer was always the confident, optimistic one. When I would get upset when Aunt Flo showed her ugly face, he would say "don't worry, its only been a few months." But last cycle I saw something different. I saw the doubt in his face when I told him my period had come. It broke my heart. I know all he wants is to be a Dad, and it breaks my heart that I can't just snap my fingers and give that gift to him. So, I had to switch modes, put on my best "it's ok" face, and assure him that I feel really good about this next cycle.

And I do, we are trying a few new things this cycle. We need to try something, its getting stressful and sad, and I never wanted it to be this way. I always wanted it to be such a happy and joyous experience, and I know it will be once I do get pregnant. Mr. Rootbeer says we will appreciate the gift of pregnancy more now, since we had to wait a little for it. I know he is right.

In comparision to others, I know our wait has been a short one. I guess I am just coming to the realization that things did not work out the way I thought they would. But that's ok. That's life, and there is nothing I can do but pray.