Catching Up...

It is about time I caught up with my blog readers. Things are ok. Time is ticking.

We are still trying to get pregnant, but we have not been charting. This decision came from Mr. Rootbeer mostly. He felt that it would be best to do things "the old fashioned way." Honestly, I don't necessarily agree, but I felt like I could try his approach for a few months and see where it took us. I have to admit, it was fun for a little while. Fun not worrying about timing. But as this cycle winds down and I wait for the dreaded AF to show up, it is not so fun. I haven't charted since the miscarriage. And deep inside I am anxious. Anxious because my cycles still aren't back to where they were before the miscarriage, anxious because I have no idea when I am ovulating. And the anxiety just seems to get worse as AF approaches. I have no idea when to expect it. My best guess is somewhere between day 28 and 36. So today CD 30, I wait. I wait for the day when I will see blood and my heart will break all over again. It has been 14 weeks, and it gets easier every day. But that pain in still there deep inside of me. It comes to the surface every month when AF comes. I tend to think it is mostly due to hormones. But don't worry, if by some miracle of God I did manage to get pregnant this cycle you all will be the first to know.