I guess it is high time I update you, blog readers.

I am a week or so late for my period.

Don't get too excited. For, this is not good news. I am NOT PREGNANT.

I know this because my doc ordered a blood test on Monday morning, and it came back negative.

I am sure, right about now, you are all asking yourself the very question that has been dancing around in my pretty head for the past few days...

Why am I late?

The answer is unknown.

Did I ovulate?

Also unknown.

Why, you ask?

Because I stopped using the devil CBEFM on CD 20 when I did not see a peak fertility reading. Because I took the advice of my doc. (who will be called Dr. JustRelax from here forward)

You see, I called Dr. JustRelax last month when my period came. I was a hot crying mess of a patient. And Dr. JustRelax told me to...you guessed it. Relax, get a bottle of wine, light some candles, and see how that worked.

And, me, being the asshole I am, I listened.

And do you know what?

I have no fucking clue what happened this cycle. Which is clearly a problem, since today is CD 37.

Allow me to share with you, internet, how this convo went down yesterday.

ps. yesterday was also Baby Rootbeer's EDD.

pps. I had a long post written about it, but deleted it. Because it was a ranting raving mess and you all wouldn't have wanted to read it anyway. TRUST.

OK, I digress.

So here it is, and I am warning you now, that I will spare no details.

Monday Morning...

Mrs. R: Oh Hi! I am a pateint of Dr. JustRelax's and I am calling because I am a week late for my monthly gift *insert eyeroll here* and I am not sure what's going on.

Lori (AKA the nicest receptionist ever): Oh hi Mrs. Rootbeer, let me just pull your chart.

Silence

Lori: OK well Dr. JustRelax isn't here today because Dr's don't come back to work the Monday after New Year's like the rest of the world. (OK maybe she really didn't say the last part, but I know that's what she meant. ) but I am going to have you go down to have blood drawn. Due to your history, it is important to know if you are in fact pregnant.

Mrs. R: Ok, I will go now then.

And off I went. Straight to the lab, where I proceeded to wait in the waiting room amongst 14 coughing old people. (I am not exaggerating)

After about 45 minutes of covering my mouth and nose for fear of swine, I was in the chair getting the blood drawn.

Tuesday Morning...

:phone rings:

Mrs. R: Hello?????

Lori: Hi Mrs. R it's Lori. I am calling to let you know your bloodwork came back negative.

Mrs. R: Thank you for calling. (and ruining my already horrible, most dreaded day of the year) So Lori, what should I do about the fact that I am still not bleeding?

Lori: Well, I will have to have Dr. JustRelax call you.

An hour later...

:phone rings:

Mrs. R: Holla

Dr. JustRelax: Hey Mrs. R , it's Dr. JustRelax.

Mrs. R: Oh hey, so I guess you got the results of my bloodwork?

Dr. JustRelax: Yes, yes I did. And how late are you?

Mrs R: about a week now

Dr. JustRelax: and that is unusual for you right?

Mrs. R: yes

Dr. JustRelax: OK well what do you want to do?

***at this moment my mind started reeling....what do I want to do? Is this man really asking me this? Should I tell him that I have seriously contemplated hiring elves to steal Mr. Rootbeer's semen in the middle of the night so that I can squirt it up my vadge with a turkey baster? Or that I have had suspicions about whether I have been ovulating for a few months now***

Mrs. R: Well, what are my options? (this was a better answer, no?)

Dr. JR: Well, you can relax and see if your period comes on its own or I can give you a pill to make it come.

*THIS IS WHERE PURE MAGIC HAPPENED PEOPLE. Something inside me snapped. I am sick of everybody's advice, including Dr. JustRelax. I am sick of floundering through TTC, I am sick of TTC period.*

Mrs. R: Here's what we are going to do. Let's wait a week and see if my period comes on its own, and I will call you next Tuesday if it does not.

Dr. JR: That seems reasonable.

Mrs. R: ok well now that we have that squared away, I am not sure I ovulated this cycle, and I have had suspicions about this for a while now...

Dr. JR: Well, don't you use that monitor?

Mrs. R: YOU TOLD ME TO JUST RELAX!

Dr. JR: ok well if you are not ovulating, I can make you ovulate.

Mrs. R: :chuckle: Oh really? How?

Dr. JR: with a pill called Clomid. I'm sure you've already read all about it? (translation: I know you are one of those annoying chicks who researches everything on the internet)

Mrs. R: Actually, Dr JustRelax, I don't know very much about Clomid. (translation: hahahahaha you're wrong because I haven't even read about clomid and now I am going to run over to the nearest computer and read all the info available and by the next time we talk I will be an expert on clomid but I haven't yet so youre wrong hahahaha)

Dr. JR: well, clomid is a mild fertility treatment, and it does have a few side effects, but the most promiment one is that it doubles your risk of having twins.

Mrs. R: Well, beggars can't be choosers, right?

Dr. JR: Let's get you a period and then you can come in and we can discuss the options you have.

:end scene:

So, there you have it folks, it looks like my blog will be taking a turn in a different direction in 2010.

Infertility.


Thoughts?

2nd beta is back

Hcg went from 86 on Thursday to 342 Today! Perfect! Baby Rootbeer is doing excellent!!!

Bye Bye Birdie!

I switched my Dr today. I had to, this was getting out of control and I was feeling so weighed down by the whole thing. After going for my second set of bloodwork today I have had enough. They actually told me to stop reading books. Um...NO. I read, that's what I do. If you want uneducated patients, then I guess we are not a good fit. She also told me she doesn't care for birth plans. This is all wrong. I always liked her, but things are different now, we aren't sitting in her office throwing around different birth control options. Also, she only delivers at one hospital and this isn't the hospital I ever wanted to deliver in. Yale is 15 minutes from me. I always wanted to deliver at Yale. If god forbid, something were to happen with Baby Rootbeer I would want to be in the best hospital. If I needed a c-section, where would I want to be? I have decided to start looking for a midwife. After reading a nestie's blog about her midwife experience, I know that's what I am looking for.

Holy Pregnancy Pimples

I have zits. One huge zit on my face, right below my nose. It is seriously the biggest zit I have EVER had. And apparently Clearsil is out of the question now. I also have one on my arm! Yes that's right, my arm. I also have two sprouting up on my hairline. This is just great. I feel like I am 13 again. I really hope that this isn't going to last my whole pregnancy.



I called my OB on Tuesday and told them I had a postive HPT. They told me to stop by on Thursday so that they could do a blood test to confirm. So, Thursday came and I ran over to the Dr. and they took some blood. They also scheduled an appointment for our first ultrasound. May 20th! I was floating on a cloud after I left. I feel great and I can't wait to hear Baby Rootbeer's heartbeat. I will be 7 weeks on May 20th, that seems a little early to me for an ultrasound, but I won't complain. The receptionist told me to call Friday morning around 9:30 for the results of the blood test.



Friday morning I came to work and was counting the minutes til 9:30, when it finally came I dialed the number and had butterflies in my stomach. The receptionist said she would call me back in a few minutes with the results. 11:30 rolled around and I still hadn't heard anything, and being as impatient as I am, I called again. She put me on hold and said I need to speak to the nurse. The nurse came on and said, you are pregnant, but very early on. Duh, I know this lady. She said my beta came back at 86. She said they want me to come in Monday for more bloodwork and then again in another week. Then she asked me again when was my LMP, I told her March 31st, and she says "hmmmmm...that can't be right." So I asked "why not?" And then she said "so then you aren't even late yet." I told her that my period was due last Sunday April 26th and that my cycles are 26 days. So I will go in tomorrow for another beta and pray that the number has doubled.