An Uphill Battle

Lately I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle. One that I've been fighting for almost two years now.

I went to see Dr. JustRelax for my 20 week ultrasound and appointment yesterday, and as luck would have it, I happened to be in the same office I was in when they discovered Baby Rootbeer had no heartbeat, and in the exact same room. Being that it was the first time I have been back to that office since, I felt anxious as soon as I walked into the room. And Mr. Rootbeer couldn't be with me due to some work scheduling conflicts.

As I waited for the ultrasound tech to come in I tried to relax, I really did.

I told myself that this baby is different. And she is.

We have made it so far together.

As the tech started the ultrasound and I saw my little girl quietly sucking her thumb on the screen in front of me, I started to relax and breathe again. I could easily see her heart was just beating away, which is still the most beautiful sight everytime I see it.

Within a few minutes, the ultrasound tech noticed that the placenta is slightly covering my cervix. Which she explained to be placenta previa. She explained that this could mean I will have a c-section if the placenta doesn't migrate upwards and away from my cervix.

She looked back at the ultrasound pictures from last week and said they probably didn't see it because my bladder wasn't emptied. And she also said this is most likely the source of the bleeding I have been experiencing. (I have bled twice since my appointment last week)

She went on to check out Baby Root, who is doing fabulous. She is growing strong and measuring a few days ahead. Her heart is perfect, her brain looks great, kidneys, spine, face, everything looked just fantastic.

So then it was time to see Dr. JustRelax.

He put me on pelvic rest and added a few more restrictions. Basically, no sex, no exercise, no laundry, no vacuuming, no lifting anything remotely heavy, no standing for extended periods of time. He also encouraged me to stay away from googling the term placenta previa and said it would scare me. ( I didn't exactly listen to the last part)

I was really uspet yesterday. I am hopeful that everything will turn out fine and the placenta will move as my uterus grows. But I feel like nothing has been easy for me in trying to have a family.

So I gave myself the rest of the day yesterday to walk around all mopey, feeling sorry for myself and hate on my body.

And now I am moving on.

Baby Root is healthy and strong and that is what I am focusing on.

Blessed

I don't think I have ever felt so blessed in my entire life.

I know my post earlier didn't really express it, but I was so scared walking into that appointment today.

This baby and I have come so far together. And I am in love.

In love with someone I have never even met.

How strange is it to think that there is someone living inside of you, but yet you've never met them?

Anyway, the baby is perfect and growing big and strong.

The blood was from a polyp on my cervix that has been bleeding.

And the best part was that the ultrasound tech was able to tell that Baby Root is a GIRL!

It was such a wonderful moment, I will never forget it. And I am so thankful that I was able to experience it.

I am truly blessed.

Change in Plans

So.....due to a recent turn of events, I will be heading off to the Dr. JustRelax in about an hour to check on Baby Root.

We had a little bleeding scare last night.

Thankfully, we have a doppler at home, courtesy of my good friend "Bubs." And I was able to hear my sweet baby's heartbeat loud and clear, which did a lot to ease my fears.

So keep us in your thoughts this morning.

With all the comotion, Mr. Rootbeer and I have decided to cancel the 3D ultrasound we had scheduled for tonight.

So I guess we will just have to wait and see who's in my belly :)

Tomorrow....maybe

Last week Mr. Rootbeer and I went to an appointment. It was an ultrasound we paid out of pocket for to find out if Baby Root is made of sugar, spice and everything nice or frogs, snails, and puppy dog tails.

And it was a huge disappointment.

The tech said something to the degree of, "well it looks like maybe a girl"

To which I responded, "well that doesn't sound too positive"

Ya know, I wish he just said, "I can't tell, the baby is scrunched up and you need to come back next week."

I have waited to hear those three words "IT'S A ____!" for so long.

And now it's pretty anti-climactic.

So folks, we will go back tomorrow to confirm.

What do you think?

Boy or Girl?

Beach Time and Belly Pic

I am so excited! Mr. Rootbeer and I are heading out today to enjoy some quality time with my parents and my brother at the beach. My parents were cool enough to rent a kick ass beach house for the next 8 days. Family vacation time!!!!

I cannot even remember when the last time we went on a family vacation.

But man, I am ready.

I am looking forward to taking some pics, hanging on the beach, sleeping, eating, and just relaxing. What I am not looking forward to is sitting in a car with my husband, brother, mom, and dad for 8 hours and having to stop and pee probably once an hour :)

And when we get back, we have some serious work to do on the future nursery. Right now, the nursery is an office, which is jam packed with files, and a desk, and a computer and a whole bunch of other stuff I have no idea what to do with. And the closet is full of ummmm errrrrr my clothes.

Which I guess is no big deal, since I can barely squeeze into 92% of my wardrobe anyway.

So, I am signing off for a little break, but I will leave you with a belly pic, compliments of one of my favorite people

PS. We find out if Baby Rootbeer is a boy or a girl on September 30th...27 days!!!!!

Internet...meet Baby Root

Reunited and It Feels So Good

Wow it's been a while.

And naturally, A LOT has changed since my last post.

I've thought a lot recently about posting again. I think what was holding me back is that this blog really became a place where I vented and healed. And I wasn't quite sure how to come back and just pick up in a totally different place and frame of mind.

The truth is, I am still not sure.

So I have decided to treat it as if I would treat a friend I lost touch with...

A quick update and then move forward.

So here goes:

February, March, April - I didn't chart, no OPKs, no CBEFM, nothing, nada.....and that's exactly what happened.

NOTHING.

And in April I finally reached my breaking point. I was quickly approaching the one year mark of my pregnancy and the miscarriage.

So, I finally made an appointment with an RE, despite the recommendation of my Dr.

They did some testing.

Determined I have PCOS.

I cried.

I took some clomid.

Went to Florida in May in an attempt to distract myself from the anniversary of the miscarriage.

And BAM

I got PREGNANT.

That's right folks. I am pregnant, like right now.

15 weeks to be exact.

I know, I dont want to blow your mind anymore, so for now...I am going to work on giving this blog a much needed make over, and I will be back soon with a belly pic maybe....

Crazy shit, right?